Ethel the Blog
Observations (and occasional brash opining) on science, computers, books, music and other shiny things that catch my mind's eye. There's a home page with ostensibly more permanent stuff. This is intended to be more functional than decorative. I neither intend nor want to surf on the bleeding edge, keep it real, redefine journalism or attract nyphomaniacal groupies (well, maybe a wee bit of the latter). The occasional cheap laugh, raised eyebrow or provocation of interest are all I'll plead guilty to in the matter of intent. Bene qui latuit bene vixit.

The usual copyright stuff applies, but I probably won't get enraged until I find a clone site with absolutely no attribution (which, by the way, has happened twice with some of my other stuff). Finally, if anyone's offended by anything on this site then please do notify me immediately. I like to keep track of those times when I get something right.

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"When they say, 'Gee it's an information explosion!', no, it's not an explosion, it's a disgorgement of the bowels is what it is. Every idiotic thing that anybody could possibly write or say or think can get into the body politic now, where before things would have to have some merit to go through the publishing routine, now, ANYTHING." - Harlan Ellison JOLLY OLD PALS Other stuff of mild interest to some: unusual literature scientific software blog physical oceanography glossary computer-related tutorials and texts Thursday, November 30, 2000 OUTSIDE AGITATORS The phrase "outside agitators" is nearly as tired a cliche as "disgruntled former employee" amongst those in power when they get annoyed with the great unwashed asserting the rights granted them by the dangerously liberal Bill of Rights. But even the hoariest of cliches occasionally rings true, as does "outside agitators" vis a vis the recent "spontaneous protests" outside the Miami-Dade County elections office that most likely influenced the decision of those therein to put the kibosh on their recount. The details, as reported by those Marxist-Leninists at the Wall Street Journal, are as follows: When outraged Republicans raised a ruckus outside the Miami-Dade County elections office last week, some protesters at the door weren't local citizens. They were Capitol Hill aides on all-expenses paid trips, courtesy of the Bush campaign. Right up front on television images of the event last Wednesday were Thomas Pyle, an aide to GOP Rep. Tom DeLay, and Michael Murphy, who works for a DeLay fund-raising committee. Doug Heye from California Rep. Richard Pombo's office also was in the fray....Behind the rowdy rallies in South Florida this past weekend was a well-organized effort by Republican operatives to entice supporters to South Florida....The biggest contingent appears to have hailed from within the marbled walls of the Capitol complex in Washington.... In Washington, several GOP aides say the office of Mr. DeLay, the House Republican whip, took charge of the effort on Capitol Hill, passing on an offer many staffers couldn't refuse: free air fare, accommodations and food in the Sunshine State -- all paid for by the Bush campaign. Aides who accepted took advantage of liberal congressional workplace rules that allow them to jump from government jobs to political tasks at a moment's notice by declaring themselves on vacation or temporary leave. "Once word leaked out, everybody wanted in," says one GOP operative involved in the effort. Participants estimate that more than 200 staffers signed on, some spending more than a week in South Florida. Many stayed in Hiltons by the beach and received $30 a day for food, as well as an invitation to an exclusive Thanksgiving Day party in Fort Lauderdale.... Staffers who joined the effort say there has been an air of mystery to the operation. "To tell you the truth, nobody knows who is calling the shots," says one aide. Many nights, often very late, a memo is slipped underneath the hotel-room doors outlining coming events. On Friday night, one aide received notice that he and his colleagues were welcome to stay in South Florida until "further notice." Bush supporters sometimes outnumbered Gore backers by 10 to one outside the Broward County Courthouse in the Democrat-leaning community. A block to the north, a recreational vehicle festooned with Bush-Cheney signs served as operation central, having recently been transferred from similar duty in Miami....[GOP] camaraderie was on full display at the glitzy Thanksgiving night party featuring free food and libations at the Hyatt on Pier 66 in Fort Lauderdale -- "a festive family mood," says one protester. Entertainer Wayne Newton crooned the song "Danke Schoen," until a group of frenzied female fans rushed the stage. The night's highlight was a conference call from Mr. Bush and running mate Dick Cheney, which included joking references by both running mates to the incident in Miami. As the fix was in on election night when Jeb pulled out of Katherine long enough to announce that Florida was a done deal, the fix in the Sunshine State is still in. I long ago lost any capacity I might have had for outrage, but I still find it of academic interest whether any of the principles tiresomely and continuously espoused by the GOP leadership and their obsequious toadies have any meaning to them other than as rhetorical devices than can and will be abandoned like Newt Gingrich's latest wife when political expediency comes a-knockin'. Okay, okay, I already knew the answer to that one. posted by Steven Baum 11/30/2000 10:56:34 PM | link TOM AND DICK'S BIG ADVENTURE Tom DeLay and Dick Armey - two of the loudest, shrillest, and most persistent of the miniature schnauzers who came into power in the House of Representatives in the aftermath of the 1994 election - are in such a tizzy over the prospect of Al Gore gaining the White House via the vile, sneaky, underhanded and immoral mechanism of the votes in Florida being honestly and correctly counted that they've got a plan - a plan so clever that you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel. The royal high fixers and corporate bagmen comprising the "high" levels of the GOP are referring to this clever plan as the Doomsday Scenario. The scenario being played out in the humid nocturnal cinemas and cobwebby cranial interstices of the Party of Laws and Not Men goes something like this: Statements of Republican congressional officials and operatives, and the Bush campaign, outline the emerging and evolving plan. The Washington players will let the Bush campaign people fight Gore in the U.S. Supreme Court and, as necessary, the Florida courts. If the courts fail to deliver a Bush victory, they will turn to the Florida State Legislature, which can call a special session to appoint Bush electors and ignore a Gore recount victory. If that fails, and a majority of Gore electoral votes arrive in Washington, the House Republicans leaders are preparing for a worst-case situation. The Doomsday Scenario, at this time, appears to be mostly tough talk, hot air, and the blustering of bullies. That is not to say it is impotent, because this is a will with a way. While there is no constitutional or congressional authority for disqualifying Gore's electoral votes, a fact confirmed by the DeLay memo, and the material the House leaders are making available from the Congressional Research Service (a branch of the Library of Congress), this has not stopped the Republican leaders from talking as if there were. For example, House Majority Leader Dick Armey says that the Congress has a "duty to accept or reject" the electoral vote. In fact, the only way that the House could reject a Gore win, should Florida ultimately certify him the winner, would be to ignore the law. So it appears the Doomsday Scenario would be a pure power politics play - the law be damned. That's right - the Party of Laws and Not Men is ready, willing and able to counter the correct tallying of votes that they ridiculously call a coup d'etat with a real coup d'etat if they don't get their way. But, then again, to be fair, the Shrub's a lot more of a down-homey guy than Gore, and he only stretches the truth ever so slightly when testifying under oath about putting the fix on an investigation of his one of his corporate paymasters, as opposed to the hellish lies Gore tells about inventing the Internet that do no less than imperil the future of the nation and our precious, precious children. posted by Steven Baum 11/30/2000 10:20:23 PM | link REWARDING POSITION I knew it was pretty much a no-brainer that shrieking Florida Secretary of State (and impartial Bush campaign manager) Katherine Harris would be rewarded with a favorable position if the Shrub made it to the White House, but I never suspected that she'd already been repeatedly rewarded in a special position by another member of the Family Busheone. According to a report by Bev Conover at the Online Journal, Newsweek is sitting on allegations that Jeb Bush and Katherine Harris had an adulterous affair. A file on CNN's computer network that instructs the help what they can and can't say contained the following item on Tuesday: Newsweek has an item on an alleged personal relationship among two of the top players in Florida. Under NO circumstances should this be reported on CNN without the approval of senior management. We'd also recommend that we be prepared in case this gets brought up during a live interview or news conference. This is the same CNN that "disappeared" the Crossfire transcript containing Larry Flynt's allegations of Shrub's knocking up and procuring an abortion for a women in the early 1970s. Conover continues with: If this allegation proves to be true and even the Bushes can't keep it buried forever, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why George W. and the Republicans are screaming for Gore to concede. Surely even William Bennett would scream, "Where's the outrage?" if Jeb Bush, who promised to deliver Florida to his big brother, and Katherine Harris, who had the gall to tell the Florida Supreme Court it was wrong as she brazenly certified the election results to give George W. Florida's 25 electoral votes, were sleeping together. "CNN and the rest of the media are digging hard -- but they're squelching it from the public until they can cover their tails," said our source. When contacted for comment, the usual shrieking heads all rejoined with, "Well, sure, but Al Gore said he invented the Internet." posted by Steven Baum 11/30/2000 09:36:25 PM | link THE BUSHFATHER Gregory Palast recently detailed the origins of just $148,000 of the $500 million used to buy Shrub the presidency - if not either the popular or honest electoral vote. The nearly $150K came from a Canadian company called Barrick Goldstrike (with Canada apparently not being on the list of godless foreign countries whose money will forever corrupt the pristine landscape of U.S. politics). So just why are a bunch of Molson-guzzling flapping heads tossing that kind of scratch at Gov. Blow Monkey? It seems that Shrub Sr. - the Bushfather - did them a big, big favor back in the waning hours of his single term presidency. Don Busheone gave Barrick a chunk of U.S.-owned property containing an estimated $10 billion worth of gold for a $10,000 nuisance fee. The newly elected Clinton administration intended to deep six the steal ... er ... deal, but the Don's boys in the Interior Department made sure the fix was in before inauguration day. Shockingly enough, after the Busheone family was evicted from the White House the Don wound up on the Barrick Goldstrike payroll, where he was paid tribute until last year. But, to be fair, he was probably just ensuring that they were being wise stewards of the land. There is a connection, if only spiritual, between Barrick and Shrub the Lesser. Peter Munk, who founded the company, first became (in)famous in Canada in the 1950s when a small speaker manufacturer he headed went belly-up - just after he sold his stock in it. For those who aren't paying attention, that sort of thing is technically known as "insider trading," the same thing Shrub did four times while paying off the money he borrowed to buy into the Texas Rangers. It gets even better - and back around to Don Busheone - when you find out that Adnan Khashoggi supplied the capital to originally set up Barrick Goldstrike. This is the same Khashoggi who was a key player in that fiasco known as the Iran-Contra Affair. But even before that Khashoggi was arrested and charged with fraud in 1986, only to be bailed out to the tune of $4 million by - have you guessed it? - Peter Munk. Later, when the Iran-Contra shit was getting ready to hit the fan, Khashoggi's ass was pulled out of the fire via all six people who could've fingered him being pardoned by - this is getting too easy, isn't it? - the Bushfather. This was the Don's last act as President, the penultimate one having been giving Munk the $10 billion in gold. Don Busheone's munificence to his associates didn't end with his White House tenure. In 1996 a geologist named Mike de Guzman announced his discovery of the world's richest oil field in Indonesia. After a word from the Bushfather to the associates of his old dictator pal Suharto who controlled mining concessions in the area, they made de Guzman an offer he couldn't refuse, i.e. he could keep 32% of his claim and Barrick Goldstrike would get 68%. It gets riotously funny at this point - not to mention belying the adage about "honor among thieves." Another Don - this time the head of another mining company who was also a long-time pal of Suharto - convinced the latter to replace Barrick with him. Not long after this switcheroo it was found out that de Guzman had faked his discovery, with the final kicker being de Guzman's "falling" out of a helicopter on a way to a meeting with the head of the second mining company. Don Busheone was beside himself with grief upon finding his old friend Munk double-crossed by Suharto, and graciously decided to compensate him via another avenue. The Bushfather contacted another of his old associates - long-time bloodthirsty dictator of Zaire Mobutu Sese Seko - and convinced him to grant exclusive rights to mine diamonds in northwest Zaire to Barrick Goldstrike. And just think, this sordid little tale involves but a mere $150K of the $500 million used to attempt to buy the Don's son the White House - the proles be damned. On the bright side, with that kind of money he can probably even convince the OED to change the meanings of "honor" and "integrity" to more accurately reflect what they really mean when pushed past the lips of the Family Busheone. posted by Steven Baum 11/30/2000 07:54:59 PM | link Wednesday, November 29, 2000 LOS MUSIC DE TEJAS Perusing the last couple of weeks worth of Booknotes informs me that the proprieter therein has sussed onto one of the things that makes this state palatable despite the gore-rising omnipresence of the Shrub clan: the damned fine musical artists who dwell herein. Go ye there and read of them. posted by Steven Baum 11/29/2000 11:57:07 PM | link THE HOLIDAY RECAP I extended the usual offer amongst my circle to shovel massive amounts of food and alcohol down the throat of anyone who didn't have other plans. To my great surprise, this year the takers included da boss, his wife, and their 4 month old young 'un. They'd told me that they were going to eat at some other function a few hours before they showed up and therefore wouldn't eat here. Heh heh heh. Yep, I've heard that one before. In addition to them snarfing to their heart's content, two others who attended told me it was the most they'd ever eaten. So how'd I do it? At gunpoint? Occasionally I'm more subtle than that, and this was just such an occasion. I started the night before with a couple of birds, one 25 and the other 16 lbs. I smoke cooked them like I do every year. It takes nearly 24 hours but it's damned well worth, both for the resulting birds and the zen-like experience of stoking the fire for a day whilst quaffing enough beer to make free beer night at a Cleveland Indians game look like a WCTU meeting. Both birds came out in the best shape I can remember. The white meat was indistinguishable from the dark and both melted in the mouth. Gravy was unnecessary, which was a good thing since I didn't remember to make any - memory always being a problem on free beer night. The ancillary dishes included a couple of stuffings, one oyster-based and the other a strange little ditty I found in "Thanksgiving Dinner: Recipes, Techniques, and Tips for America's Favorite Celebration" by Anthony Dias Blue and Kathryn K. Blue. They'd found it in a recipe book from 1949. It's called Sauerkraut Apple Stuffing and sounded just experimental enough to be worth a try. It's also quick and easy to make. The ingredients: 6 cups coarse, fresh bread crumbs 3 cups sauerkraut, drained 2 cups diced apples (preferably Granny Smith) 1 cup chopped onions (any kind will do) 1/2 teaspoon caraway seed 1 tablespoon grated orange zest Obtain the bread crumbs in the manner in which you're accustomed, and combine them with the remaining ingredients. Serve at room temperature, although it's a good idea to let it sit for a few hours for all the flavors to meld. By the way, it's pretty damned good, with apples and sauerkraut making a killer combo. Someone else made the traditional green been casserole and I rounded things out with a huge mound of freshly made mashed taters made with Yukon Golds. Yukons are yellow and so tasty that you don't even need to add butter, so just imagine how tasty they were after I added enough butter to give myocardial infarctions to people driving down the street outside. Somebody brought some pumpkin and pecan pie for dessert, but I consider it an insult if anyone is even able to get to the dessert course without following the venerable Roman feast tradition of going out back and jamming the old finger down the throat. The dessert wasn't touched, although there was plenty of room for the post-prandial wines and beers. The icing on the cake for the day was provided by the joyous spectacle of the Dallas Cowboys getting their asses handed to them in spectacular fashion. This, followed by Texas A&M's hindparts being treated in the same way the next day led to the great spiritual inner peace that only the best sort of schadenfreude can bring. This almost numinous feeling was enhanced by viewing the "Blackadder Christmas Carol" as well as various other Blackadder episodes. The consumption of obscene amounts of alcohol provided all the memories with a gentle fog that will ensure they last forever in whatever malleable form is desired. posted by Steven Baum 11/29/2000 11:13:25 PM | link A NATION OF LAWS, NOT MEN The GOP never tires of chanting that one, and it's right up there with "the sanctity of marriage" on the "do what I say and not what I do" hit parade. Case in point: a GOP election fixing squad in Sanford, Florida. Both parties knew that Florida was going to be pivotal in the weeks before the election, so both sent pre-printed application forms for absentee ballots to their party faithful. The problem started when the GOP screwed up their version of the card. A space on the card reserved for voter identification numbers was printed with the prospective voters' birth dates. This seeminly minor problem was in fact a major problem. The absentee ballot shenanigans of the deposed former GOP mayor of Miami in 1997 led to the passage of some tougher election laws - as in "laws, not men", i.e. The law says that only the voter, the voter's legal guardian or a family member--not a third party--can complete application forms for absentee ballots. So if the 4700 incorrect ballot applications returned from the GOP mailing were to be corrected, they would have to be corrected by each voter or his or her legal guardian or a family member. So how were all ballots - which had indeed been rejected and placed in a warehouse - corrected? By two GOP party hacks who showed up in late October with their laptop computers full of voter registration numbers. They spent 10 days alone in a back room (as in with no supervision) at the Sanford elections office correcting all 4700 ballot applications. That is "alone" as in no Democratic Party or independent observers. Unless the two GOP fixers were locals and the local gene pool resembles that of backwoods West Virginia, they weren't related to all 4700 voters and therefore the ballots were still in contravention of the law - as in "laws, not men." It seems to me that a party so ostensibly deathly afraid that the commonweal will fall if laws stating that ballot counts not returned by a certain time "may" (not "must") be rejected aren't interpreted in a manner maximally favorable to their political fortunes would have a little more respect for other laws. For example, a law (as opposed to a man) stating in no uncertain or ambiguous terms who may complete a request for an absentee ballot. Even Scalia and that set of lips permanently attached to his ass might have a hard time extricating their party from this one. That is, Scalia, the attached lips, and the other seven Supremes the GOP that so reveres states rights is running to to overturn the decision of a state court. In the meantime, the shit-eating grin still sits in Austin stewing in his own juices, fretting about the unfairness of not being immediately granted via coronation the position he was divinely born to fill. If not driving drunk or knocking up a minor or skipping out on military service or insider trading for nearly five years doesn't show he's ready to return dignity and pride to the White House, then just what the hell does? posted by Steven Baum 11/29/2000 10:10:09 PM | link IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING Just a bit of a vacation. posted by Steven Baum 11/29/2000 10:00:35 PM | link

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