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Observations (and occasional brash opining) on science, computers, books, music and other shiny things that catch my mind's eye. There's a home page with ostensibly more permanent stuff. This is intended to be more functional than decorative. I neither intend nor want to surf on the bleeding edge, keep it real, redefine journalism or attract nyphomaniacal groupies (well, maybe a wee bit of the latter). The occasional cheap laugh, raised eyebrow or provocation of interest are all I'll plead guilty to in the matter of intent. Bene qui latuit bene vixit.

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Friday, August 11, 2000

UNKNOWN LEGENDS
My first encounter with rock and roll obscurities was when I bought the two-volume LP set "Nuggets" put together by rock critic and future Patty Smith Group guitarist Lenny Kaye in 1972. Rhino's
Nuggets 4-CD compilation contains all of those two LPs as the first disc and much more on three additional discs, and Rhino is nice enough to provide the full liner notes and track notes for the set. For those for whom the music itself just ain't enough, the short and mostly obscure careers of these bands are now being chronicled in books like Unknown Legends of Rock 'n' Roll: Psychedelic Unknowns, Mad Geniuses, Punk Pioneers, Lo-Fi Mavericks & More by Richie Unterberger (co-editor of the All Music Guide and former editor of Option magazine). Unterberger provides some form to his collection of profiles by dividing the bands into various categories. I'm supplying the categories and the bands in each below, with appropriate links for each of the latter (proving yet again that nothing is too obscure for the web). The book also includes a CD containing tracks from 12 of the groups profiled.

Overlooked Originators

Lost British Invaders
Out of the Garage Psychedelic Unknowns
Mad Geniuses and Eccentric Recluses
From the Continent
Folk Music; Rock Attitude
Comic Relief
Punk Pioneers
Post-Punk Hybrids
Lo-Fi Mavericks
One Shot Was All They Got
  • The Bluethings
  • Free Spirits (spawned Jim Pepper and Larry Coryell)
  • The Hampton Grease Band
  • Judy Henske and Jerry Yester
  • The Monks
  • The Rising Sons
  • Tomorrow
  • The United States of America
  • Young Marble Giants
    Laws Unto Themselves: Rock Enigmas

    Books covering the same subject area as Unterberger's include


    posted by Steven Baum 8/11/2000 02:51:18 PM | link
  • BERLIN
    These listologists (via follow me here) have obviously never heard of Lou Reed's Berlin, for which the lyrics only convey half the misery. Another reviewer hits the nail on the head when he says ...
    ... there is really no middle ground. You will either deify this record, calling it one of the richest and most wonderful chef-d'ouevres that modern music has managed to produced, or trample it under your feet all the while spitting out curses and lamenting over the fact how you'd like to punch the fat ass of the guy who told you Lou Reed was the archetypical proto-punk.
    Another good bit by the same reviewer ends with some sage advice:
    ... the atmosphere is created with eerie effects - a gloomy church organ in the background, a barrage of heavy, bass-emphasized piano chords, some echoey, leaden vocals, a distorted block chord now and then, you know, that kind of stuff. It all combines to make a record so depressed and tragic, so utterly pessimistic, almost apocalyptic, that even Quadrophenia sounds like 'Ode To Joy' in comparison. If you can't stand slow, lethargic, gloomy records, don't even think about buying this, no matter how much your friends praise it.
    And for those obsessive completists out there, it seems that the 8-track release of the album contained 58 seconds of material not found on the vinyl, cassette or CD releases. There's even a short review of the 8-track version that reiterates our theme:
    Berlin...I got it and of course was depressed for about a month in high school . . . I just walked around with this shattered look on my face all the time. And of course it was on the endless loop so you could get depressed all over again...

    posted by Steven Baum 8/11/2000 01:40:07 PM | link

    UGH
    Take a 41 year old carcass that skipped breakfast and dinner and had a light lunch, add two hours of ultimate frisbee in 95 deg. heat, pour in vast quantities of Bass and Guinness at the traditional post-game literary discussion with the lads - well, you either get the picture or you don't. What once took one day now takes two. Have I mentioned lately how much I despise the young?
    posted by Steven Baum 8/11/2000 11:29:20 AM |
    link

    WDC FOR PALEOCLIMATOLOGY
    The
    World Data Center (WDC) program system originated with a need recognized during the planning for the International Geophysical Year (IGY, 1957-1958) for a systematic way to organize and archive the increasingly large amounts of data that were going to be collected during IGY and successive studies. There are quite a few of these things, with the one in which we're currently most interested being the WDC for Paleoclimatology located at the National Geophysical Data Center (NGDC) in Boulder, Colorado.

    The paleoclimatology WDC archives raw data and paleoclimate reconstructions obtained from those data. In paleoclimatology we make extensive use of what are called proxy data. These are data such as temperatures derived from measurements of other quantities, e.g. isotopes in ice and sediment cores, fossil distributions in sediment cores, pollen types, and tree ring measurements. For instance, the fossils found in sediment cores are from microplanktonic organisms that lived in the waters above that part of the sea floor, and the temperature of that water influences the distribution of species that dwell within it. There are distinct groups or assemblages of microplankton species characteristic of given temperatures or temperature ranges. Proxy temperatures are thus inferred by counting the number of each species found in a slice of a sediment core (whose age has been determined by independent means) and then processing those raw numbers with a statistical model that relates the type of assemblage to a temperature range. This "paleothermometer" is therefore used to obtain estimates of ocean temperatures in the prehistoric past (since our time machine project has yet to come to fruition).

    While the paleoclimatology WDC has a usable interface, it can be tricky attempting to find something that you know is there, or to find basic information (when, where, how) about a given data set. This led me to construct an alternative, all-text option for browsing the WDC's paleoclimatology holdings that I'm calling the the WDC for Paleoclimatology Gateway. As is par for the course around here, it ain't pretty, but it's got just the functionality we need.

    A couple of items at the site might prove of interest to the casual browser. First, there's the North American Drought Variability database, which features nationwide maps of a drought severity index obtained from tree ring (1700-1978) and instrumental (1895-1995) data (with the former calibrated using the latter). This might prove of some interest to those tracking the largely drought-induced spate of fires currently plaguing the western U.S. A historical perspective is offered at North American Drought: A Paleo Perspective (wherein those stodgy climatologists get Steinbeckian to liven things up a bit). Of more historical interest is the tree-ring dataset used to put forth the theory that droughts may have been insrumental in both the disapperance of the "Lost Colony" from Roanoke Island in North Carolina and the later difficulties experienced by the Jamestown settlers. The data show that the former group arrived during the worst drought since 1200, and the latter arrived in the second year of a seven-year drought. For those disappointed with such a mundane explanation, the five-legged creepies from Aldebaran did still carve CROATOAN into that tree, which translates roughly into "those tasty sumbitches were all gone before we got here, dammit!"
    posted by Steven Baum 8/11/2000 09:28:33 AM | link

    DRAMATIC PAUSE ...
    Since I won't be able to do
    this justice in the couple of days I noted at the time, I'll urge those interested to - in the interim - grab a copy of George Dyson's Darwin Among the Machines: The Evolution of Global Intelligence. The author has an impeccable intellectual pedigree and has written a book that throws out ideas like politicians throwing out pitches on opening day, and the intellectual and historical connections made therein have probably got James Burke chewing his arm off in envy.
    posted by Steven Baum 8/11/2000 09:13:16 AM | link

    Wednesday, August 09, 2000

    2+2=4, NOT 5
    The
    loyal opposition continues to bury its head in the sand. It begins by flogging the same same red herring (not unlike a horse) about the sacred need to be prepared for "two major theatres", i.e. the same levels before and after evil was focused. "Ready at a lesser level" is not a bad thing if that is what is necessary and sufficient. It quite simply begs the question as to whether we should continue to argue for Cold War defense (i.e. offense) spending levels after the entity the God Reagan called the sole reason for evil in the modern world has joined the GOP's traditional "we hate niggers and jews" rhetoric in the dustbin of history.

    Then we get a confused paragraph about the Cato Institute in a which a big word is used in an attempt to confuse Johnny Reader as to whether they are conservative or liberal. I invite all readers to visit the Cato site, read as many of their reports as they might wish, and decide for themselves which party they find the Insitute in consonant resonance with more often. I also note that a fawning sycophant for the GOP - the party of "get the evil gummint off the people's backs" - is arguing against the fact that increased military spending increases the power of the godless, mercenary, oppressive state. Just ask your friendly neighborhood dead goatherder how much he admires the military supremacy worshipped by the GOP and its mewling toadies.

    Then we get a priceless paragraph about how Shrub the Elder apparently proved the "two-war" theory by beating up on the woefully backward military force of Iraq. To put it bluntly for the cognitively challenged: a two-day, pyrrhic victory in one war against a pathetically overmatched foe (that the propagandists pushed as one of the largest military forces on the planet) in no way establishes whether or not a two-war strategy is necessary or not. All it tells us is that our overwhelmingly superior forces don't even have to break a fingernail to utterly kick the ass of a country whose leader is touted as the next Hitler and whose "elite troops" are touted as being the only thing separating us from reading Salman Rushdie in Arabic.

    Then we get, in the final paragraph, the repetition of the utterly clueless "are we truly ready for a two-theater major war?" We fucking well rule the world economically. I invite anyone to prove otherwise. Our "defense" spending is twice that of all our supposed dangerous enemies combined. Our military and economic supremacy since 1945 might be arguable until 1990 (depending on how much one wants to believe CIA estimates apparently based on dropping acid), but is so inarguably obvious since then that those who aver otherwise have found the acid stash.

    But, to give credit where credit is due, the phrase "your government is lying to you" is trotted out towards the end of the "rebuttal". This is akin to saying that the sun rises in the east. The truly sad thing is that our ostensible opposition thinks that the Little Endians are going to lie to us less than the Big Endians. I could just as easily aim the same guns at Gore that I've been aiming at Shrub for all these months, with the material being obtaineed from the leftist literature.

    Every time I'm getting ready to agree with someone about how the gummint is indeed a power-hungry danger to us all - they pinch off some utter stupidity about how Shrub or Dole or whomever is going to save us from evil Clinton's predations upon the commonweal. Here's a clue: whether your name's Fred Hampton or David Koresh, the gummint can hand it out from now until 2099.

    I'll let the Rev. Niemoller's words finish this entry:

    "In Germany, they came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
    Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
    Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
    Then they came for me, and by that time, no one was left to speak up."

    posted by Steven Baum 8/9/2000 11:06:45 PM | link

    ANOTHER CONVENTION ALTERNATIVE
    For those looking for an alternative to pissing away any part of their life viewing political conventions that are about as exciting, entertaining and enlightening as watching vanilla ice cream melt (and who don't wish to take advantage of my previous suggestion and watch over nine hours worth of a film about Holocaust survivors), there's always
    The Impossible H. L. Mencken, wherein pages 225 through 395 contain his newspaper accounts of the conventions from 1904 through 1948. For example, the opening paragraph of a 1924 story about the GOP convention in Cleveland has an eerie air of familiarity:
    At first blush, the Republican National Convention at Cleveland next week promises to be a very dull show, for the Hon. Mr. Coolidge will be nominated without serious opposition and there are no issues of enough vitality to make a fight over the platform. The whole proceedings, in fact, will be largely formal. Some dreadful mountebank in a long-tailed coat will open them with a windy speech; then another mountebank will repeat the same rubbish in other words; then a half dozen windjammers willo hymn good Cal as a combination of Pericles, Frederick the Great, Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt and John the Baptist; then there will be an hour of two of idiotic whooping, and then the boys will go home. The LaFollette heretics, if they are heard of at all, will not be heard of for long; they will be shoved aside even more swiftly than they were shoved aside when Harding was nominated. And the battle for the Vice-Presidency will not be fought out in the hall, but somewhere in one of the hotels, behind locked doors and over a jug or two of bootleg Scotch.
    And then in a post-mortem article written after both conventions:
    Big Business, it appears, is in favor of [Coolidge], and with it Little Business. The fact should be sufficient to make the judicious regard him somewhat suspiciously. For Big Business, in America, is almost wholly devoid of anything even poetically describable as public spirit. It is frankly on the make, day in and day out, and hence for the sort of politician who gives it the best chance. In order to get that chance it is willing to make any conceivable sacrifice of common sense and the common decencies. Big Business was in favor of Prohibition, believing that a sober workman would make a better slave than one with a few drinks in him. It was in favor of all the gross robberies and extortions that went on during the war [i.e. WWI], and profited by all of them. It was in favor of the crude throttling of free speech that was then undertaken in the name of patriotism, and is still in favor of it. It was hot against the proceedings which unveiled the swineries of Fall, Doheny, Daugherty, Burns and company, as Dr. Coolidge himself was. Now it is in favor of Dr. Coolidge. He may be, as they say, a virtuous and diligent man, but he is surely in very bad company.
    Yep, that last excerpt is yet more proof that Mencken's one of the patron saints of the GOP. It's also evidence of yet another classic text that needs a hypertext treatment for annotating various things that - while they may have been front page news in 1924 - are long forgotten even to those interested in such things.
    posted by Steven Baum 8/9/2000 12:17:24 AM | link

    Tuesday, August 08, 2000

    MEMEWHON
    I'll give y'all a couple of days to attempt to figure out who penned the following passage strongly suggestive of the m-word as well as when it first appeared.
    Ideas are like plants and animals in this respect also. I do not merely mean their growth in the minds of those who first advanced them, but that larger development which consists in their subsequent good or evil fortunes - in their reception, favourable or otherwise, by those to whom they were presented. This is to an idea what its surroundings are to an organism, and throws much the same light upon it that knowledge of the conditions under which an organism lives throws upon the organism itself.
    The answer will be included as part of a review I'm too lazy and/or spifflicated to finish tonight. If anyone guesses correctly beforehand they win a "get out of hearing me rant about politics in a bar after 10 P.M. free" card, a prize for which many would trade their left eyeball.
    posted by Steven Baum 8/8/2000 11:04:31 PM |
    link

    CLINTON'S BAD EXAMPLE
    Once you factor out the economic boom of the 90s - since Clinton wasn't at all responsible (can you say Paul Volcker, er, I mean Alan Greenspan) - all you have left is his bad moral example. And boy howdy, how the hens are coming home to roost. A
    press release dated August 8 from the CDC tells us that the birth rate for teenagers declined 3% from 1998 to 1999, the 8th consecutive year the rate has decreased (for a total decrease of 20% over that period). Further details:
    During the 1990s, teen birth rates declined among white, black, American Indian, Asian or Pacific Islander and Hispanic women aged 15-19, with the largest decline a 30-percent drop among black teens. Hispanic teens reported the smallest decline of 13 percent. Between 1998 and 1999, the sharpest decline (6 percent) was for American Indian teenagers followed closely by a 5 percent drop for black teens.
    Oh the humanity! When is the moral degradation ever going to end? As a service to the reactionary boneheads who are undoubtedly straining both neurons attempting to figure out how to blame Clinton for this, EthelCo has concocted the following inane, unsubstantiated, paralogical one-liner and released it into the public domain for all mouth-breathers to freely intersperse with all their other inane, unsubstantiated, paralogical one-liners: those teens were so shocked upon learning of the disrespect Clinton showed to the Oval Office by getting hummers therein that they were incapable of doing anything much less having sex (can you say Alan Greenspan?). That's right, Clinton utterly destroyed their teen years. Yet another crime against humanity by the man who deserves his own private Nuremberg trial. Next week: How Clinton conspires with we climate researchers to cook the carbon dioxide books (can you say Alan Greenspan?).
    posted by Steven Baum 8/8/2000 10:12:02 PM | link

    MEA CULPA? HOMEY DON'T THINK SO
    Gadzooks!
    Some think I've been bamboozled by insidious, ultra-leftist propaganda over at Salon (although I note that previous columns by the same columnist haven't also been denounced as such). The entry in which I was ostensibly agitpropped immediately precedes this one. The upshot is that the Shrub camp was being twitted for prevaricating about how Clinton has singlehandedly brought the military down from the most fierce, mean, lean fighting machine ever known to - as it might have been and indeed was put in the Reagan years - the status of "pitiful, helpless giant."

    The supposedly incorrect contention was that the presently smaller and supposedly less ready state of the military was the fault of pre-Clinton era decisions rather than of Kremlin mole Clinton. Presented as counter-evidence was an Air Force Magazine editorial which blamed the Clinton peaceniks for replacing the big, manly chest-thumping "win-hold-win" strategy with an effeminate "win-lose-lose" or "win-hold-oops" strategy. Basically, the military decided post-Cold War that its forces should be sized for a "two-war strategy" wherein two Major Theatre Wars (MTW) could be sustained at once, with the air campaign in Yugoslavia being advanced as an example of an MTW. The justification for the two-war thing is that, for example, while we're incorrectly pissing away time, lives and money in Yugloslavia, a real crisis might come along for which we wouldn't be wholly prepared and *BOOM* it's "Red Dawn" for real. Or, in a slightly more realistic scenario, another CIA-installed stooge in Central American could go rogue and we'd have to invade his country to capture him, cause the cocaine trafficking he was overseeing to be rerouted and delayed for a couple of days, and get the poll numbers back up.

    The presumption is that the two-war strategy, which would keep total defense spending at levels very near what it was during the Cold War, is chipped in granite. Indeed, the Air Force Magazine editorial says that "the only rational argument against the two-war standard is that we cannot meet it." That is simply not true. Rational alternatives have been proposed by, e.g. the National Defense Panel (NDP) among others (with the NDP's origins being via an act of Congress in 1997). There are many technical arguments that one could go through in excruciating detail, but the simplest counterargument to a strategy that costs as much in military spending as did most Cold War years is: Why - if the "focus of evil in the modern world" is but a memory - do we have to spend almost the same amount of money protecting ourselves against a world in which evil is apparently unfocused? (As an aside, an article written recently by an unreconstructed cold warrior attempted to convince that the sundering of the Soviet Union into disparate states made the situation there - if anything - even more dangerous and frightening than before. Gee, I wonder what the same git would write if the disparate states got back together? Or became DisneyAsia? Or did the hokey-pokey? These people are really shameless.)

    As to the larger question of how and why the military apparently isn't what it should be, it might be instructive to peruse a Cato Institute report from 1988 entitled More Defense Spending for Smaller Forces: What Hath DOD Wrought?. (At this point, anyone who attempts to disparage the Cato Institute as ultraliberal is invited to go outside and bury their head in real sand and let the rational people continue the discussion.) The report began by detailing the money spent on the DOD from 1978 through 1987, i.e. an increase of 64% amounting to $110 billion. Then they asked an obvious question:

    How was the money spent? The simple answer: with great haste and, apparently, considerable waste.
    Getting into the details, they examined the increased outlays by appropriation:
    The combined real outlays for military personnel, operations, and maintenance increased at a 3 percent annual rate. The combined real outlays for procurement, research, development, testing, and evaluation, however, increased at a 10 percent annual rate. Thus, most of the increase in real defense spending was in outlays for procurement and R&D.
    Next they asked how the 64% increase in real defense outlays affected the capability of the military forces. They broke down changes in the level of active personnel and forces by service and by type of force, discuss several obvious patterns, and concluded that:
    In no case was the increase in personnel or force units as large as the increase in real defense spending. With the exception of naval general-purpose forces, the substantial increase in real defense spending had very little effect on the level of U.S. military forces.
    Next the changes in the number and quality of weapons was discussed in regards to their affects on military capability. A lot of details and numbers were analyzed to reach the following conclusions:
    The available data suggest that the rapid increase in U.S. real expenditures for weapons procurement and R&D did not increase the number and quality of U.S. weapons relative to those of our main potential adversary.

    Moreover, the comparative weapons production data should lead us to inquire whether the United States has made the correct tradeoff between quantity and quality, whether it has been producing the right types of weapons, and whether it has been relatively inefficient at producing weapons (and if so, why). Before approving a renewed increase in real defense spending, Congress should ask DoD to address those questions.

    Next they found a bright spot in improvements in the quality of enlisted personnel. The number of recruits who were high school graduates increased to 90% from 70-75% during the draft era, and less than 10% of recruits were drawn from the lowest acceptable category compared with 50% a decade earlier. Recall that this was all happening in the 1980s, with the recruits they're examining all having enlisted in the early 1980s when unemployment reached nearly 10%. It's not the least bit surprising that higher quality people chose military service when unemployment was high. Today, for example, the military is having problems finding good recruits because unemployment is very low, e.g. even McDonald's and other companies traditionally offering not much above minimum wage have to offer at least twice that to satisfy their labor needs.

    As to readiness and sustainability, the outlook was less favorable:

    There does not appear to have been a substantial in- crease in the readiness and sustainability of U.S. forces during the defense buildup.(9) Such indicators as training days per battalion, flying hours per crew, steaming days per ship, and years of schooling did not change very much. Equip- ment and supplies on hand was reported to have increased for the Navy and Marine Corps air forces, remained fairly stable for the Marine Corps land forces, and declined for the Army and the Air Force. DoD reported that the percentage of "mission capable" equipment was only "steady or slightly increasing."
    Finally, they get to their general evaluation of military capability, where they offer conclusions as to the actual effectiveness of the 64% increase in defense spending during the Reagan era. The overall conclusion is:
    On the basis of the available data, one can only conclude, as did the Congres- sional Budget Office, that "despite widespread improvements, most of the aggregate indicators have not increased markedly, with a few exceptions like personnel quality."
    They then look at projections over the near-term (i.e. from 1988 to the early 1990s) and arrive at the sobering:
    The administration of the Pentagon has collapsed. Not only are we cheating the public by signing them up for things that we can't afford, but we're hurting the mili- tary because there's going to be a readiness bloodbath. We would be worse off in 1992 than in 1979 and still be spending $260 billion a year.

    The critical choice will be whether to maintain the weapons procurement plan or the level and readiness of U.S. forces. Secretary Carlucci has chosen to maintain most elements of the procurement plan at the expense of small reductions in the military forces.

    So much for William Jefferson Clinton being personally responsible for any readiness problems the military might have, and for the rose-colored glasses view of Clinton dragging the military down from its true glory days through the 80s and early 90s. The good old days WEREN'T! By the way, for those who haven't been paying attention, these conclusions are from a 1988 report by one of the most conservative think tanks in existence. Another passage Clinton bashers might find especially instructive is:
    We have to stop living beyond our means and playing as if we can be the world's policeman as we used to do during the Marshall Plan days.

    To put the above in some sort of perspective, I should start with the observation that the present "readiness crisis" is at most a red herring used to steer debate away from the real issue as to whether the "two war" theory is sacred or merely a sacred cow. And at the least it's just another ephemeral club used to engage in rote Clinton bashing. To put it very, very, very bluntly, an extremely conservative think tank looked at whether the huge increases in defense spending during the Reagan increased readiness and concluded in the negative. Why? Mostly because the huge wads of cash were being pissed away on weapons R&D and procurement programs rife with inefficiency, incompetency and corruption - with the justification for many of the programs also questionable. The kind thing to say about that group is that they tried to solve the problem by throwing money at it. If you want to be meaner you could accuse them of knowing exactly what they were doing, i.e. transferring money from the middle class to their wealthy constituents.

    So where do Shrub's foreign policy and military cadre claim to have obtained their zen-like wisdom about their fields? In that same Reagan era. That's right. They claim they're going to cure a very questionable current, post-Cold War "crisis" in military readiness using the same wisdom with which they cured the readiness "crisis" of the 80s, i.e. when evil was still focused. And an ideologically consonant think tank that had absolutely no disagreements with them as to whether there was a crisis concluded that they did little or nothing to solve it. This is the supposedly rational alternative being offered by the GOP to the ostensibly incompetent and dangerous liberals taking us all to hell in a handbasket. Note carefully that not only does recent history show them to be incompetent to solve a problem they claim exists (with their announcement that they're going to throw even more money at the pie-in-the-sky missile defense system showing their methods are the same as ever), but they also haven't even established that the problem really exists. This particular GOP myth would have to gain more weight than 20 Cartmans to reach even the ephemeral category.
    posted by Steven Baum 8/8/2000 05:24:56 PM | link

    Monday, August 07, 2000

    A RETURN TO CREDIBILITY?
    One of the oft-repeated chants of the Shrub campaign is how evil, baby-killing, gay-loving Clinton has emasculated the military, leaving it unable to even defend our precious children against a solo, octogenerian Fidel Castro swimming towards Florida with knife between clenched teeth much less the new Mongol hordes of China and North Korea. None other than Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf joined the Shrubfest last week, adding a basso profundo to the "Clinton killed the army" chorus. Following are his accusations followed by the first casualty a.k.a. the truth about them (courtesy of this week's
    Lie of the Week:
    Accusation: "6,300 military families are now eligible for food stamps"
    Truth: many more were eligible for food stamps during the Gulf War in 1990

    Accusation: "as of 1999, the number of fighting Army divisions ready for war had shrunk to less than half of what they were before Desert Storm"
    Truth: this was a result not of Clinton administration neglect but of the post-Cold War military restructuring that was organized by two men you may also have heard bashing the Clinton administration's defense policies last week: Dick Cheney and Colin Powell

    Shrub, not to outdone by the portly Lion of Kuwait, added his own fibbery:
    Accusation: If called on by the commander in chief today, two entire divisions of the Army would have to report, 'Not ready for duty, sir.'"
    Truth: Last October the commanders of the 1st Infantry Division and the 10th Mountain Division did temporarily downgrade their divisions' readiness. But the reason those two divisions had their readiness downgraded was not because they were unfit for duty or lacked equipment. It was because portions of each division were on peacekeeping duty in Bosnia and Kosovo. The military's definition of readiness has to do with a particular division's ability to go into combat immediately in the hypothetical case of two major theater conflicts breaking out simultaneously. The commanders doubted their ability to quickly extricate their troops from their positions in the Balkans.
    In other words, if Cuba decided to invade (aided by the 50 remaining Sandinistas) via Harlingen, Texas (which is still closer to Washington, D.C. than Pluto is to Mars) and, at the same time, North Korea decided to fire the missile they'll have ready to lob towards the U.S. somewhere in the next decade or so, the last, best hope of democracy on this planet would be utterly defeated by the forces of evil.

    Isn't it wonderful how Shrub et al. are already showing us how a new sun labelled "veritas" is going to be rising over the commonweal, restoring the faith of our precious children in the sanctity of the Oval Office so they'll stop turning to crack and liberalism in failed attempts to get over their 8-year long depression?
    posted by Steven Baum 8/7/2000 05:32:00 PM | link

    THE "PRECIOUS CHILDREN" PARTY?
    Shrub's touchy-feely acceptance speech mentioned "children" 18 times, and just about every speech given at the GOP convention - where the entire content of the official speechwriter's manual was apparently "don't say what you really mean" - repeated the "precious children" meme, e.g. Colin Powell's "we can't leave one child behind" speech. Being a firm believer in the cliche "actions speak louder than words," I did a bit of digging as to just what the GOP ticket has attempted to do for (or to) the "precious children" rather than what they claim they're going to do for (or to) them.

    Starting with the head child-worshipper Shrub hisself, there's the matter of the Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP) in Texas, a program whose sinister design is to provide low-cost health insurance for children whose parents earn too much to qualify for Medicaid but too little to afford health insurance. And what did Shrub do to improve health care for all the "precious children" in a state second only to California in the number of children without health insurance (with a program that brings in three federal dollars for each state dollar spent)? The Democrats in the Texas House put forth a CHIP state funding proposal:

    And it would provide insurance for 500,000 of the 1.4 million children currently without it -- if the CHIP eligibility level were set at 200% of the federal poverty level. Yet while the governor was at a conference mugging with Jesse Ventura, someone on the Bush staff informed House Democrats that the CHIP eligibility level would be set at 150% of the federal poverty level -- a decision that would push 200,000 children out of the program.
    The same program was enthusiastically supported by other GOP governors including Shrub's brother Jeb in Florida, Engler in Michigan, and Whitman in New Jersey (all having no problem with the 200% level and Whitman even going for 300%). So what was Shrub's problem? He wanted the extra money it would have cost to protect (and not leave behind) the 200,000 "precious children" for a tax cut that would look good on the national political scene. Fortunately, House member Glen Maxey fought Shrub and his lieutenants on the issue and got the 200% level. The man who would be the "precious children" president later told Maxey that "You crammed it down my throat."

    Next, let's consider that fount of gravitas and the milk of human kindness Dick Cheney. In 1986 he considered a bill authorizing funding for various programs including Head Start and ended up being one of only 33 (out of 435) members of the House to vote against it, i.e.

    When Carter moved to give education its own Cabinet-level agency in 1979, for instance, Cheney twice voted against separating the "E" from the Department of HEW (Health, Education and Welfare). In 1986, Cheney was one of only 33 members to vote against authorizing funding for programs that included Head Start; he later was one of 27 who voted against the conference committee report of essentially the same bill.
    And just what sinister thing about Head Start was it that alerted the current V.P. candidate of the "save our precious children" party as well as 32 others in his party to vote against it (although over 150 members of the same party didn't see a `yes' vote as the straw that would break the commonweal's back)? Let's have a look at their official Fact Sheet to see if we can find a clue:
    Head Start is a national program which provides comprehensive developmental services for America's low-income, pre-school children ages three to five and social services for their families. Approximately 1,400 community-based non-profit organizations and school systems develop unique and innovative programs to meet specific needs.
    Ah, the key words are obviously "low-income" (i.e. welfare bums) and "community" (just a few letters away from "communism").

    How about Shrub the Elder? He's not half as big a bonehead as his namesake son, and might provide a good example. In the first year of his presidency he proposed and obtained large cuts in the budget for the Women, Infants and Children program of the USDA, another sinister program whose goal is:

    To safeguard the health of low-income women, infants, & children up to age 5 who are at nutritional risk by providing nutritious foods to supplement diets, information on healthy eating, and referrals to health care.
    But, to be fair, I did find a mention of something the Elder Bush created called the Bush Children Trust which obviously exists for the benefit of "precious children":
    In this letter, Bush refers to the "Bush Children Trust" he had created for his five children, and "funded by a diversified portfolio" which might put him into conflicts of interest. He told Stennis that if confirmed, he would resign as trustee of the Bush Children Fund and direct the other trustees to stop disclosing to him any details of the operations of the Bush Children Trust.
    Without this Trust Fund, Shrub the Lesser would have never been able to afford to move all the way back to Texas and start his first failed oil business. He would have had to resort to the humiliation of hitting up daddy's wealthy pals for the money he needed for his next couple of failed businesses a year earlier than he did, and that undoubtedly would have adversely affected his sterling moral character and shrewd business acumen.

    It took a while, but we finally did figure out what the Shrub dynasty and the GOP mean by "precious children." I'll bet they've even got a nice trust fund set up for that son of Jeb who looks just like Ricky Martin and is all set to get that important Teenbeat vote.
    posted by Steven Baum 8/7/2000 04:27:47 PM | link

    A BIT OF A FAVOR, PLEASE
    Could someone inform the proprieter of
    Bovine Inversus that as of today the mere act of attempting to load their page crashes my browser, i.e. Netscape 4.51 on a Linux box. I'd send an email myself except that it crashes so quickly that I can't find the address. Thanks in advance. By the way, this is the first time I can remember this sort of thing happening in over 10 months of reading various weblogs.
    posted by Steven Baum 8/7/2000 02:54:26 PM | link

    KILLER PUPPETS
    The
    Independent Media Center of Philadelphia is staying right on top of what's happening to the 341 protestors still in custody and being promised full prosecution by Mayor Daley, er, Street for such horrific actions as carrying and making puppets, possessing juggling equipment with intent to commit genocide, and using cell phones to set up an incredibly sophisticated terrorist communications network.

    The most absurd accusation (found in a Philadelpha Inquirer article) was that the protestors were stringing piano wire across Market Street near City Hall to " knock down police officers on horses, on motorbikes, on bicycles." Time for a reality check. Piano wire is an extremely deadly weapon if used in such a way. It can decapitate victims if they move into it fast enough and at the right height. While I have no difficulty believing that Osama bin Laden might use something like this against his mortal enemies, to contend that the pack of peaceniks that gathered in Philadelphia was attempting to kill cops is just absurd. In the non-bullshit universe they were almost certainly putting up a cable from which to hang a protest banner.

    The Powers That Be are getting scared of (or at least annoyed at) the ingrates who think that "freedom of speech" is a phrase that deserves a whole lot more than lip service, and that you should actually be able to exercise that freedom in a land that damned near breaks its own arm smugly patting itself on the back for being the bastion and last hope of freedom in the modern world. And they're striking back in the only way mindless thugs throughout history know how to strike back - with the real and legal clubs of the state. About the only freedom that means anything to such czars these days is your freedom to buy, whether it be consumer goods or the big, stinking pile of bullshit they offer as a substitute for substantive debate about what the aims and goals of a real democracy should be.
    posted by Steven Baum 8/7/2000 11:00:29 AM | link

    FRINGE WITH THE SURREAL ON TOP
    Beyond the Fringe was temporally in the middle of the British great comedy troupe troika, being preceded by The Goon Show and followed by Monty Python. Each group successively chipped away at the boundaries of what was then allowable in sketch comedy until, post-Python, anything went. Sketches no longer had to have endings, beginnings or, for that matter, middles. The boundary between the artifice of the sketch and the reality of the audience disappeared. But, alas, it's been nearly thirty years since the Pythoners dispersed and they were the youngest of the groups. The Times offers us a look back at the Fringers in Behind the Fringe by Humphrey Cook wherein he "charts the extraordinary rise of Jonathan Miller, Alan Bennett, Dudley Moore and Peter Cook as they ended the culture deference."

    Cook begins by relating how Tony Hendra - who went on to later notoriety as one of the acerbic rapscallions of the nascent National Lampoon years and as one of the prime movers of Spitting Image - went into a Fringe performance a novice Benedictine monk and exited a pawn of satan. He then goes into the history of the first performance of the Fringe, with plenty of juicy bits about each of the members along the way, e.g. concerning Bennet's early years at Oxford:

    Magdalen College gave Bennett a junior lecturer post, with membership of the senior common room and the right to dine on its high table, where his neighbours often included C S Lewis and A J P Taylor, whom he found "daunting".
    and Miller's (who today is a highly respected director of plays and operas as well as a historian of medicine) first years at Cambridge:
    Arriving at Cambridge in 1953 to read medicine at St John's College, Miller at first eschewed comedy. He was elected to the Apostles, the celebrated semi-secret club. Previous generations of Apostles had a reputation for homosexuality, but Miller claims that by the mid-1950s being a member helped in the seduction of girls: "One would say, 'I'm an Apostle, get your knickers off!' "
    Their first meeting was the result of Louis Armstrong cancelling out of the 1960 Edinburgh festival. The director, Robert Ponsonby, decided to replace Armstrong's music with a comedy review and set his assistant John Bassett to the task of finding an appropriate cast. At that first meeting in a restaurant Cook - already reknowned as a comedian - very much impressed his future cohorts and decided to join up despite his agent's protestations that his budding career would be damaged by working with such rank amateurs.

    After spinning the group up at various regional locations, they headed to London's Convent Garden in May 1961 where their performances received such mixed reviews as:

    In the next morning's Daily Express, Benard Levin described it as "a revue so brilliant, adult, hard-boiled, accurate, merciless, witty, unexpected, alive, exhilarating, cleansing, right, true and good that my first conscious thought as I stumbled, weak and sick with laughter, up the stairs at the end was one of gratitude".
    Cook the most mercenary and comically talented of the bunch, did a killer imitation of PM Harold Macmillan, who showed up one night to see the show. Needless to say, Cook - who didn't back down up until the day he bloody well drank himself to death - didn't back down that night either:
    Macmillan also appeared one night. Cook pointed him out to the audience and "went several steps further" in his impersonation, Bennett recalls. The act became so insulting that "Macmillan buried his face in his programme, and the audience, out of embarrassment, gradually froze. This didn't stop Peter. On he plunged".
    The article is apparently an excerpt from a book by Carpenter called "That Was the Satire That Was" although the only link offered is an email address for the Sunday Times Bookshop. Fortunately, as I suspected, it can also be snagged at amazon.co.uk.
    posted by Steven Baum 8/7/2000 09:41:14 AM | link


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