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Ethel the Blog
Observations (and occasional brash opining) on science, computers, books, music and other shiny things that catch my mind's eye. There's a home page with ostensibly more permanent stuff. This is intended to be more functional than decorative. I neither intend nor want to surf on the bleeding edge, keep it real, redefine journalism or attract nyphomaniacal groupies (well, maybe a wee bit of the latter). The occasional cheap laugh, raised eyebrow or provocation of interest are all I'll plead guilty to in the matter of intent. Bene qui latuit bene vixit.

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Friday, April 14, 2000

THE NAZZ
Everything you've always wanted to know about
Lord Buckley, and I'm not talking about the aging preppy what started the "National Review" with CIA dollars back in the 50s.
posted by Steven Baum 4/14/2000 04:10:35 PM | link

A VIRTUAL COMIC
Journey to the West is "a virtual comic book about a Zen coyote and his adventures in the deserts of the American West." Hmmm, I wonder if he sounds like Johnny Cash.
posted by Steven Baum 4/14/2000 04:00:05 PM | link

SCOUT REPORT
This week's
Scout Report just arrived in the e-post and, as usual, includes several interesting items.
  • Vietnam War Declassification Project - This is a project of the Gerald R. Ford Library, though, so don't expect anything juicier than that which Ellsberg was prosecuted for nearly 30 years ago.
  • Disease Reference Encylopedia - Contains over 4000 articles and medical images about disease, injury, nutrition, poison, surgery, symptoms and tests. The perfect browsing site for hypochondriacs.
  • Lost Art Internet Database - A German project to "register cultural goods which were transported or stolen because of persecution, especially of Jewish citizens, as a result of World War II or as a result of National Socialism." They probably need to expand to include all lost art resulting from WWII, since not all the stuff that went missing was stolen from Jews or by Nazis.
  • MP3Lit - "Free spoken word recordings from your favorite authors." They even have a Top 20 list on which The Onion is currently #2 and prominent wallflower Henry Rollins #7.
  • International Trafficking in Women to the United States - A grisly monograph (among many produced by the CIA's Center for the Study of Intelligence) revealing that as many as 50,000 women and children from Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe are trafficked to the U.S. each year.

posted by Steven Baum 4/14/2000 03:45:01 PM | link

HOT AND STEAMY
Probably the largest steam engine ever built, the
double Corliss steam engine
double Corliss steam engine
constructed for the American Centennial Exposition (that's 1876 in case numbers and you aren't the best of friends) weighed in at 56 tons and produced 1400 horsepower. The 30 foot flywheel spun by its two cylinders supposedly powered all the exhibits in Machinery Hall. I say "supposedly" since an article in an 1876 issue of "Machinery and Builder" magazine begs to disagree. In what may have been a raging controversy at the time (although, mercifully, it didn't involve Cuban expatriates) they complain that:
The large Corliss engine, advertised as having a power of 2,000 horse, scarcely does the work of 400 horse, while of the 20 boilers intended to supply the steam for this engine, only 10 of them are used, the other 10 always being idle.

We were informed that the reason of this lack of steam is that at 2 P.M. the pumping machinery for a large cataract is put into operation, which takes so much steam that there is none left for any other pumps. Now we consider this a specimen of unwise partiality among those having the control of this matter - we say unwise, because to sacrifice the interests of so many exhibitors who have spent many thousands of dollars to make a creditable display of a series of very interesting and highly useful hydraulic contrivances, and this merely to gratify a few interested in a cataract.

We do not say let the cataract stop, but we say do not be parsimonious; use the idle boilers, and gratify the one as well as the other; let the public see the cataract, but above all let them also see the wonderful play of a constellation of the most ingenious pumps the world ever saw, instead of defrauding the public of all the sights to be seen and imposing upon a large class of exhibitors.

One can almost see the vigorous Crossfire-like debate about this going on in the local taverns of the time, although without a Clinton (Bill being not yet even a gleam in the eye of the milkman's great grandfather and Dewitt being long gone) to blame the reactionaries probably just couldn't get up enough steam to do it justice. The folks at "Manufacturer and Builder" were quite the pioneering muckrakers and rabblerousers, by the way, seeing how I found another article entitled "Centennial concession, or extortion?".

All sorts of documents and pictures concerning the Centennial Exposition as well as other (a couple dozen) such events can be found at World's Fairs and Expositions. And to bring politics back into it, there's a book entitled A World of Fairs: The Century of Progress Expositions whose thesis is, according to one reviewer:

...that the world's fairs that occurred from the late 19th century until the mid-twentieth century were designed to promote corporate and government agendas of imperialism, and to inaugurate the populace into a culture of unchecked consumerism.
Well, something sure as hell tried and succeeded.
posted by Steven Baum 4/14/2000 03:01:43 PM | link

RAILWAY STANDARDIZATION
You wouldn't think that standardizing the width of railways could inflame the passions of anyone who doesn't wear an engineer's hat to bed. Not so. As we discover in
"A long, arduous march toward standardization" by Achsah Nesmith at the ASME History and Heritage Center:
One of the first serious efforts to bring uniformity to Northern rail gauges in 1853 resulted in bloody riots in places like Erie, Pennsylvania. As a junction point where three different widths of railroad met, Erie citizens stood to lose hundreds of jobs created by the need to load and unload, as well as jack up, all the arriving can in order to change their wheels. With so much well-paid work to lose, city officials refused to grant the railroads the right to close streets and bridges while the track-width changes were made, and the governor of Pennsylvania backed them. Families and even church congregations split into factions over the issue. At one point, a mob of women took sledgehammers and were tearing up the various tracks until federal marshals moved in.
So much for dat ol' time religion keeping folks more well-behaved in the good ol' days. One can easily imagine the preachers in those varied congregations each preaching sermons - and finding Biblical justification - about why God favors one railway gauge over another.

Further attempts to standardize railway gauges across the U.S. proved more successful and, in one case, a considerable feat of engineering and cooperation. That the railway gauge needed to be standardized nationwide was not an issue - the only real question was what gauge to choose. The south had thousands of miles of track with a 5' gauge, while the north used either the (interchangeable) 4' 8.5" or 4' 9" gauge (mostly the latter). Given the results of the war just 20 years earlier, it should be no surprise who changed what to what, and therein lies the still-astounding feat.

To put it succinctly, on June 1 and 2, 1886, over 11,000 miles of railroad tracks spread all over the south (from Virginia to Florida to Texas) were converted from 5' gauge to 4' 9" gauge. You read that correctly: 11,000 miles of track were adjusted in just 2 days in what the article calls "one of the most dramatic instances of mass standardization that ever took place."

The article documents other examples of standardization in U.S. history, starting with the hiring of a Swiss-born metrologist (that's the name for scientist who studies measurement and not a misspelling of the name for a scientist who studies the weather, by the way) in 1830 to standardize the U.S. system of weights and measures. Hassler requested the standards used by customhouses around the U.S. and, when he found that most had none, established the standards himself. For instance, he based the length standard of the yard on two marks on an 82-inch bar crafted by an English instrument maker. As zealous as Hassler was with his job, he was about 20 years away from necessity taking over to finish the job for him. At his death in 1834, only a third of the states had adopted his system. It took the rapid rise of industrialization and its concomitant demands for standards to make the adoption of his standards nationwide by 1856.

A National Bureau of Standards was established by Congress in 1901 to carry on with the task begun by Hassler. The name was changed in 1988 to National Institute of Standards and Technology, the site for which rewards casual or even non-casual browsing, even offering up a nifty software package or three in various places.
posted by Steven Baum 4/14/2000 01:50:44 PM | link

SPIKE THE BIKE
As a law-abiding (out of a pragmatic concern for personal safety rather than respect for the law) bicyclist, I regularly become enraged at the jackassery of the majority of idiots behind the wheels of steel death machines. If you've ever ridden a bicycle regularly you know as well as I do that even if you obey the law to the letter the car nazis will still put altogether too many thrills into your life. One of my favorite fantasies is a sort of "Rambo on two wheels" thing wherein the road behind me is littered with the corpses of SUVs, BMWs, huge pickups and, of course, their braindead drivers. I've never gone so far as to put these lovely daydreams onto paper and - thanks to
Spike the Bike - now I don't have to. Some excerpts:
I caught the first one just a mile from home. It was a type-A, businessman-yuppie-semipsychotic in a BMW, who didn't like the fact that I was occupying two feet of the lane in front of him. He let me know with his horn and his middle finger. It's pretty hard to hit a moving car from a moving bike, even with a machine gun. I must have fired four bursts before I put one in the gas tank and the "Bimmer" erupted into flame. Fortunately, this bozo managed to get the car off on the shoulder before it blew up, so I didn't have to find a detour around the fire.

The next one didn't come along for another five or six miles. This was a couple of punks in an old Camaro. They pulled alongside me and the passenger barked out of the window like a dog. Then the driver floored it and screeched off in a cloud of burnt-oil smoke. I got lucky for once. The punks got caught at a stoplight, so I didn't need the gun. I pulled into the center of the road so I would pass the driver. As I rolled past, he started talking some punk talk. I don't know what he said, because he stopped in mid-sentence when he saw the grenade go through his open window into the back seat. I caught a glimpse of both of them frantically scrambling after it just as it went off. It looked like some of the glass and shrapnel did some damage to the car ahead of them, but it couldn't be helped. Every war claims some innocent victims.

Taking out a tractor-trailer rig isn't easy. You might be able to get a grenade into the cab, but if it bounces back at you, you're finished. You can sometimes shoot out all the tires on one side of the tractor and the truck will jackknife, but it takes at least half a mag, and half the time you won't get all the tires. I had to face the fact that a MAC-10 submachinegun and a few grenades just weren't going to do the job against these monstrosities.

My weekly raid on the old Joliet Arsenal yielded what I needed: a bazooka and a couple of crates of armor-piercing rockets. As usual, the morons the Army has watching the place didn't see anything. All the approaches to the arsenal are pretty well guarded, but nobody expects a guy on a mountain bike sneaking up from the river bank. I slung the bazooka over my shoulder, stuffed all the rockets I could carry into a set of panniers and a backback, and slipped away unnoticed.

This stuff brings tears to my eyes every time I read it.
posted by Steven Baum 4/14/2000 11:15:00 AM | link

NOT JUST A FOUR-LETTER WORD
From
Stupid Recursion Tricks and Other Word Games, we find Douglas Hofstadter's definition of "love":
A set of circumstances or attributes characterizing a person or thing at a given time in, with, or by the conscious or unconscious together as a unit full of or having a specific ability or capacity in a manner relating to, dealing with, or capable of making the distinction between right and wrong in conduct, or an inclination to move or act in a particular direction or way, having the state or quality of being strong in moral strength, self-discipline, or fortitude, or the act or process of volition for, or consideration, attention, or concern full of fond or tender feeling for, or the quality, state, or instance of being faithful to, those persons or ideals that one is under obligation to defend or support, or the condition, quality or state of being worthy of trust, or a strongly felt fond or tender feeling to a creature or creatures of or characteristic of a person or persons, that lives or exists, or is assumed to do so, particularly as separated or marked off by differences from that which is conceived, spoken of, or referred to as existing as an individual entity, or from any living organism inferior in rank, dignity, or authority, typically capable of moving about but not of making its own food by photosynthesis.
Being the silly romantic I am, I've always gone for the simpler, warmer and fuzzier "that which is indistinguishable from the chemical consequences of a chocolate binge." (A line that is reprised - as someone recently reminded me - in a slightly different form by Al Pacino in "Devil's Advocate".)

The site also features a section on selfish code a.k.a. self-producing code, i.e. code that prints itself out or evaluates to itself in some programming language. Even more perversely, there are two examples wherein if you run them through two languages they'll reproduce themselves.
posted by Steven Baum 4/14/2000 10:41:36 AM | link

Thursday, April 13, 2000

FIDELITY?
While grunting and groaning on the stairclimber over at the rec center tonight, I had the pleasure of gazing at CNBC for half an hour while Geraldo led their "All Elian All the Time" coverage. The sound was mercifully off but closed-captioning was turned on, so while I didn't get to enjoy the grating, fingernails on a blackboard voices of the idjits being interviewed (i.e. bloviating and blowing smoke out their asses), I did catch the gist of the storyline. The well-drilled Cuban expatriate (Cuba si! Castro no!) spokesboob steered her answer to every question back to either "the father is under the evil magic mojo spell of evil, evil Fidel" or "why don't you listen to the boy?".

Basically, she kept chanting over and over that nothing the boy's father said could be believed since he was under the evil spell of Fidel's evil minions every evil minute of the evil day. The other side of her mouth chanted about how Elian's utterances - caught on film only because the supply of granite upon which each scene could be indelibly chipped was as scarce as the necessary artisans - about how he wanted to stay in Nintendoland, er, America were just as much as sign from God as if his profile had appeared that morning on Elian's breakfast tortilla.

In other words, she would have us believe that a 30-40 year old man was having his every word ... nay ... thought scripted by a bearded, cigar-chomping devil a couple of hundred miles away, while a 6-year-old in the constant company of those who've been utterly and totally obsessed with Castro hatred for 40 years was offering words as pure and free from external taint as the snowflakes that float gently to the ground at the South Pole. I didn't hear anything like it, but I wouldn't be surprised if she tearfully proclaimed how Elian's "guardians" had begged him to consider his father's wishes and the sanctity of family values before freely choosing to go on tour with Gloria Estefan.
posted by Steven Baum 4/13/2000 11:03:02 PM |
link

SPEAKING OF RUDE
Many strange, funny and downright rude things can be found at
Shagnasty's Penis Owner's Club, the chief of which among the latter is the aptly named 2,440 Rude Words and Phrases. It's nicely broken up into categories, e.g. rude words for male genitals, crab lice, breasts, masturbation, sanitary napkins, and just about every other body part, concept or action discussed in junior high school restrooms. I originally chanced upon this site while searching for things of a Monty Python flavor and, sure enough, Shagnasty has a predictably rude and annoying Python page, in which there may or may not be a small, invisible button leading to further wonders. I'm too damned impatient and/or lazy to find it, but if anyone isn't and does find it (hint: it ain't the nekkid bimbo) feel free to pass along the secret. Sure, Shagnasty can be a bit unsophisticated (i.e. a crass fuckwit), but anyone who devotes as much space as he does to pondering Why is James Brown so dam cool? can't be all bad.
posted by Steven Baum 4/13/2000 05:20:30 PM | link

BACKING UP TO CD
Fraser McCrossan has written a useful program called
cddump that is basically a Perl wrapper around mkisofs and cdrecord. The resulting program behaves similarly to the dump utility, with the big difference being that it dumps files directly onto CD-R or CD-RW discs rather than to tapes. It supports full, differential and incremental backups, single- and multi-session disks, and backing up over more than one disk. The sequence of actions it performs is:
  • read the specified options to determine the requested backup level;
  • read a global database file to determine the dates and levels of previous backups;
  • read a file in the filesystem being dumped detailing which files to omit from the dump;
  • scan for files to find all that have changed since the last dump or which are of equal or lower level;
  • optionally generate a cpio archive file of special files, i.e. everything not a plain file or a directory;
  • request that media be mounted in the drive (if not already so);
  • find the total size of the CD media and remaining space, and then obtain files that will fit;
  • build an ISO-9660 image of those files;
  • write that image to the CD media;
  • repeat the procedure if there are more files to be backed up;
  • update the global database file with the new backup level and date information.
It's working pretty good for me so far, albeit on a fairly small setup not requiring hundreds of disks for the task.
posted by Steven Baum 4/13/2000 04:32:30 PM | link

DESPICABLE?
Metascene's "Ten Signs That I Am Becoming Everything I Once Despised" struck a bit of a chord. Well, enough for me to steal, er, borrow it for my own metrical (or perhaps meretricious) purposes. I'll start each one with a summary of his position and then add my plugged nickel.
  • 1. Enjoy wearing a suit and tie. - Never. The last time I wore a tie was for my dissertation defense, for chrissake. As far as I'm concerned, one of the greatest perks of non-tenure track academia is the lax or non-existent dress code.
  • 2. Got a cell phone. - I've ranted about this before. I only got an answering machine so I could be rude (although, to be fair, mostly *to* the rude) without having to drag my ass off the couch, and the less I dwell on the concept and usage of cell phones the lower my blood pressure will stay and the less authentic (and sincere) frontier gibberish I'll spout.
  • 3. Owning stocks. - Technically speaking, my mutual funds do involve stocks, but I ignore the details, i.e. the extent of my involvement is checking the quarterly statements, exclaming "Hot puppies! Retirement beer money!", and tossing it onto the precipitous stack on the desk.
  • 4. Enjoying CNBC. - I can barely stand to watch or listen to any news as of late other than Sportscenter on ESPN. I prefer to read news, with my only interaction with talking heads involving the classic "Remain in Light".
  • 5. Disliking going to crowded, loud clubs. - I've never enjoyed this sort of thing. Both the crowd and the loud aspects are orthogonal to my idea of having a good time.
  • 6. Web site updating thing. - Not really an issue with me. I update when I feel like it as I always have.
  • 7. Enjoying Mariah Carey et al. - Carey's vocal talents are blunted if not overwhelmed by her crass T&A marketing strategy. Maybe she'll eventually record something as good as the sound of Sara Vaughn breaking wind, but it won't be until even plastic surgery no longer keeps the pubescent lads panting.
  • 8. Liking polite people. - I've never found the rude to be admirable, not even when I was the bastard being rude. And the older I get, the less entrancing that "the world revolves around me so get the fuck out of my way" stance in others gets. By the way, the undergrads here in aggieland have that attitude in spades.
  • 9. Hair replacement. - Feh. Vanity ain't one of my problems.
  • 10. Beginning to write about oneself. - Well, this one's pretty damned obvious.

posted by Steven Baum 4/13/2000 11:09:17 AM | link

R STATISTICAL SOFTWARE
R is a language and environment for statistical computing and graphics based on the S (now S-PLUS) system originally developed at Bell Labs. More strictly speaking, the language is similar to S while the underlying implementation and semantics are derived from Scheme. The international development team released version 1.0.0 on Feb. 29, stating "that we believe that R has reached a level of stability and maturity that makes it suitable for production use." R - officially called a dialect of S - consists of a language plus a run-time environment with graphics, a debugger, access to certain system functions, and the ability to run programs stored in script files. The major differences between R and S (which are well-explained in the R FAQ) are:
  • the use of lexical scoping for free variables in R as opposed to static scoping in S, i.e. the values of free variables are determined by the bindings in effect at the time a function was created rather than by a set of global variables;
  • various smaller differences in the modeling code, e.g. different storage of term objects, etc.; and
  • some "intentional" differences where the behavior of S was considered "not clean", mostly as regards detecting programming errors.
There is one other highly significant difference: R is freely available under the GPL as source code (as well as in binary format for many platforms, e.g. most UNIX variants, Windows and NextStep), while S is a commercial product.

One common complaint about open source projects is the lack of documentation, but this doesn't apply to R. In addition to the published literature for S (e.g. Modern Applied Statistics with S-PLUS) being 99% applicable, the R project has developed:

  • "An Introduction to R", a 100-page primer;
  • "Writing R Extensions", a 60-page guide to creating extension packages; and
  • "The R Reference Index", a 700-page reference manual for the R base packages.

And speaking of extensions (and, like Nick Lowe, I'm not talking about Alexander Graham Bell's invention here), there are already a veritable plethora of the things just waiting to be applied to lies, damned lies and even the occasional statistical application. They include:

  • RmSQL - an interface to mSQL;
  • akima - implementing linear and cubic spline interpolation for irregularly gridded data;
  • bootstrap - software, data and errata from Efron and Tibshirani's An Introduction to the Bootstrap;
  • cluster - functions for cluster analysis;
  • fdim - functions for calculating fractal dimensions;
  • integrate - for adaptive quadrature in up to 20 dimensions;
  • locfit - for local regression, likelihood and density estimation;
  • multiv - routines for multivariate data analysis including hierarchical clustering, PCA, Sammon mapping and correspondence analysis;
  • quadprog - for solving quadratic programming problems;
  • sgeostat - an object-oriented framework for geostatistical modeling;
  • tseries - for time series analysis with an emphasis on nonlinear modeling; and
  • wavethresh - for performing 1- and 2-D wavelet statistics and transforms.
There are many more, with even more sure to follow.

Additional information about statistical computing - including the poop on the major competition to R - can be found at the Statistics and Statistical Graphics Resources page. If your duties (or even hobbies) are of a statistical nature, go ahead and give R a well-deserved look-see. At the very least, you can't beat the price.
posted by Steven Baum 4/13/2000 10:15:44 AM | link

Wednesday, April 12, 2000

GOONAGE
If you're a fan of the
Goon Show, then take a gander at TradeMarks where they offer frighteningly large numbers of episodes of old time radio shows on CD compilations for a surprisingly small fee. They get 100+ episodes on each disc via compression, mostly with the RealAudio format. The offerings include:
  • The Goon Show - 200 half-hour episodes of the British radio comedy running from 1952-1960 starring the multifarious and nefarious talents of Michael Bentine, Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers (yes, *that* one) and Spike Milligan
  • Great Brit Comedy - 240 episodes include 10 by Rowan Atkinson, 17 by the marvelously filthy-mouthed Peter Cook and Dudley Moore (before he got professionally and sickeningly cute), 27 by Monty Python, 6 by Billy Connolly, and a bunch more by blokes I've never heard of
  • The Shadow - 200 radio programs (mid-30s to mid-50s), 175 pictures of Shadow pulp magazine covers, and the text from 100 of those pulp novels
  • Dimension X/X-Minux One - all the episodes (150+) from these series that dramatized classic science fiction stories in the late 40s and early 50s
  • The Jack Benny Show - 200 episodes from the show that ran from 1932 to 1955 and starred America's favorite cheapskate
Other offerings include radio shows featuring Dragnet, Orson Welles, Sherlock Holmes and Gunsmoke. All you young punks can now find out just what your parents ... oops ... grandparents and great-grandparents did for funsies at night.
posted by Steven Baum 4/12/2000 11:23:02 AM | link


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